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Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

An older man is walking along when a frog calls out to him, "Hey, hey you! If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man ponders this offer for a moment and then picks the frog up and puts him into his pocket. "What are you doing?" the frog cries out, "I said if you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful princess, what's the matter?" The man explains, "At my age I'd rather have a talking frog than a beautiful princess."

Jesus confronts the crowd which has gathered to stone a thief. "Let that person among you who is free from sin cast the first stone." The crowd is silent for a moment, and then a stone, bonk!, hits Jesus on the side of the head. Rubbing his head, he turns in exasperation to look at the thrower and says, "Mother, haven't I asked you to stay out of these things!"

The young priest brings a question to his mentor, an older priest: "Father, I pray to God, with all the reverence that I have in me, but He doesn't answer me. Am I praying the wrong way?" The older priest answers in exasperation: "Of couse He doesn't answer you! Didn't you learn anything in seminary?"